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Peter J Jackson, Funeral Directors
How to write a eulogy :Eulogies Honor and Heal by Garry Schaeffer
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Writing As Therapy  Writing in general-a eulogy, a letter, a journal-presents a valuable opportunity to discover a new therapeutic tool to help you deal with grief, sadness, ambivalence, confusion or other needs for change. On some level, you already know how therapeutic writing can be. At one time you may have written an angry letter and not mailed it, but felt better for having written it. In the case of a eulogy, writing brings up memories, rekindles feelings, and acts as a catalyst. It has been said, "The only way out is through." Writing helps you revisit emotions that are important to the healing process, so get your feelings on paper. You do not have to be grieving to use writing as a tool to help you gain clarity on an issue or to motivate yourself to make changes in your life. There are many ways to use writing to deal with your loss. Some people keep journals or diaries; others write letters. Some people send e-mail to friends; others write poems or stories. There is no right answer. Experiment. Do what works for you. Julia Cameron, in her book, The Artist's Way, tells aspiring artists to set aside time each morning to write. She calls it, "morning papers." You can call it, "mourning papers." Every morning take the time to write three pages of thoughts and feelings. Write long-hand rather than using a typewriter or computer because there is a better connection between the hand and the heart. While writing, don't concern yourself with spelling, grammar, punctuation, being redundant, or making sense. Write half-baked ideas, thoughts, or feelings if you want. The goal is not to write something good or something that will ever be read again. The goal is to write simply for the sake of getting it out of your system. Mourning papers can cover anything-complaints, dreams, frustrations, feelings, and so on. Nothing is too trivial. Complain about the barking dog next door. Write about your life's dreams or sorrows. Create a grocery list. Brainstorm goals. Unburden yourself of pain, sorrow, fears, and regrets. You can think long-term and create a better life for yourself or you can work on immediate needs. The only rule is there are no rules. Let whatever is on your mind flow onto the paper. This is a very powerful exercise during which you will make several discoveries: *The process is enjoyable. *Your thoughts will flow quickly and the important ones will be pushed to the surface with great force. *It is easy to fill up three pages. *You might have to stop to cry, especially if you are mourning or in pain. *The process frees you of petty complaints and obsessions. *You will look forward to these morning writing sessions. Bringing up the pain, although unpleasant, is part of working through it. I'm not a therapist, but from experience I know that repressing feelings is counter-productive. Shakespeare once wrote, "Tears water our growth." The power of writing is undeniable and there is no better time than now to take advantage of it. Writing and delivering a eulogy is a noble gesture that is worthy of thought and effort. It is an opportunity to make a contribution to a memorial service-a contribution that you, your friends and family will long remember. Think of a eulogy as a gift to yourself and others. Embrace the opportunity to brighten an otherwise dark time. Garry Schaeffer is the author of "A Labor of Love: How To Write A Eulogy." This 96-page book has helped thousands of people since 1995. It includes: a "How-To" section with writing tips and short-cuts; sample eulogies of famous people, including Gandhi, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., Princess Diana and others; poems for memorial services; and much more. top Related Article: Seven Easy Steps to Writing a Eulogy Both writing and delivering a eulogy are emotional, but at the same time a step towards healing. It's never easy to put into words what someone's life meant to you and to summarize their life in just a few minutes. ......more
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